Four days ago--Saturday 5th May 2007 to be precise--when I was walking in the Celery Bog, enjoying the beautiful and ephemeral spring which really comes and passes, I began to have the idea to write down about my first summer in West Lafayette. I have the feeling that if I didn't start write down the days passing by so fast I should soon be more forgetful. That really happens when I read my diary during 2004-2005, where I really could not remember what exactly happened to make me write some words like that. So I plan on writing on three or four morning in the following weeks to fix down the moments easily elapsed, these quiet, excited, sweet, and seclusive moments of my life in the summer of 2007.
The place I am living now is really beautiful and quiet. But it seems that I could not stay here for too long since it is too far from the one who I care about so much. The Lodge, that is the apartment's name, is surrounded by a natural preserve, closed to the Celery Bog. I woke up this morning very early. Through the blinds I saw the beautiful sunrise in the cloudy sky foreboding some t-storms. I had the feeling that I would not go outside. What a bad memory! I almost forgot what happened today! I have to fix my mind on certain things to assure myself I had spend this day, a common day in my life, which possibly means nothing or means everything. Well, let me return to the Lodge--it has a spacious balcony facing the little woods; my window is facing that woods too, but a little bit hiding in the shadow. There were some little plants with their green buds outside my window too, but the gardener seems to have no time to take good care of it. I seldom notices them too but concentrates on my life which is so easily forgotten by myself.
There is a lot of mirrors in my room; the closet door, the wall of my bathroom, are both occupied by large mirrors. I don't remember exactly when I got into the habit of looking at my face in the glass. I guess it is through my staring of the mirror that I forgot the days passing. Whose face is this?That's not pretty, why do you stare at me like that? It is definitely a bad experience to find a stranger in the mirror, who seems to mock at you malignantly. My attention is usually digressed by the slam of a door or a passing vehicle. Then I go back to the world where I belong, and try to prepare some stuff that fits our practical world. I have to do this as everybody has to. Here, I found in Virginia Woolf's writing something useful to describe my idle state:
"A great part of every day is not lived consciously. One walks, eats , sees things, deals with what has to be done......"
What are the things that have to be done? I still cannot figure out after the semester is finally over. I decide to read more about Renaissance, which seems to be more and more appealed to me. I decided to make up for the scripts I didn't understand at all. Actually I find myself read them with pleasure.I am now learning from Rachel Ray about cooking a fast dinner for my dearest person. Oh I remember, that's what I had learned today, how to cook a good Italian sausage pasta with olive oil. Yes, I am going to get some pasta sauce, oregano and basil tomorrow morning. What else? Let me try to find them out after I lay on my bed.
My roommates are really nice girls, really outgoing and friendly, kind of nosy though. I know people are inclined to probe into other's lives. I'd rather make my life an open book without too much complicated thoughts in it. I have nothing to hide. So it is nothing wrong with them to ask whatever they want to know. I am always myself with completely open mind. But I never feel prepared enough to reach out inviting people to step into my world unless they'd like to. Maybe I should change myself. I am too seclusive. I don't mean to be this way. I talks to my parents very often--but the wireless net here is really awful--I feel good that I always could be completely open to them, and they are willing to lend their ears to me wholeheartedly. I am really blessed. That's become a daily job for me. But they had to fix that webcam soon. It is always interesting to see their smile and to watch my dog sleeping on the other side of the globe.
I was really satisfied tonight after I got the call I was waiting for all the day. It seems the severed parts of my day could not be pulled together unless I got the phone, a great delight to get things to its wholeness. I am ready to say good night to this idle day. It is good that I choose to end this day using words, to get moments fixed down in here. My words, that's only I have to my own. Someone passes by my window gabbing a lot, even sounding their horn. It seems another party is going to begin. I am not a party person, but I would not reject any invitation to a party, just to prove that I am not a recluse.
I am going to stop here today. All that are glowing in my eyes are the little woods surrounding my apartment. I am so thankful that I am able to catch the moments of this days using my words, although they are not that meaningful, as always.