I am always sad on the day before a new semester. This year I feel the same. Last night two of my neighbors are celebrating the end of winter break. When it was getting late, they were getting louder. I just ignored them as usual. I did not feel the sadness overwhelms me until this afternoon. The sky is overcast,windy but warm, reminding me of the spring. A warm winter's afternoon always seem to me really abnormal and uncomfortable. I stand in the winds, letting it blow my collar so hard, hoping it will blow away my depression, hoping I could find more air to breathe. I just don't feel like going back school, especially this winter, with all sorts of uncertainties. Just not well prepared for another semester. I will never get out of school...

         Maybe it is going to be better when I am getting occupied with all kinds of errands, when I am driven to mess with all kinds of persons I really don't want to approach to, when I can once again find the freemdom and pleasure in my reading and writing, when I am sure I am doing the right things. I know it is going this way, but today I am so down with the thoughts I will go back tomorrow. I need to get myself busy, to fill the emptness after holiday.